Tuesday, August 3, 2010

The belly blues...

With Big "B" 's 5th birthday quickly approaching, I'm reminiscing a lot about the day she was born. I told her yesterday, as we were driving down the road, how clearly I remember being in the hospital ready to deliver her and how special it was the moment the doctor pulled her out of my belly. I wished I'd just reminisced in my head instead of out loud because that comment opened up a discussion I don't think either one of us was ready for.

I've mentioned before how inquisitive she is. Well, she wanted to know (again) how exactly the doctor pulled her out of my belly. When she's asked before I was been able to dance around the "exactly" part, but this time she wasn't satisfied with "he just pulled you out". She wanted to know if he used scissors to cut open my belly. I said no. Then she asked if he just stuck his hands in my belly and I said no again. A little frustrated she raised her voice and said, "Then how did he get me out Mommy?!?" (For the first time in my life, I so wished I had delivered her via C-section!) I just can't lie to my kids. I try to be as honest about everything as I can - even when it's hard. So, I cut right to the chase...no sugar-coating... "Here's the deal, baby..." When I told her "exactly" how Dr. "C" got her out of my belly she gave me a hilarious look of shock and disgust. Think McCauley Culkin's face on "Home Alone" but with his tongue also sticking out. She squealed, "Are you jokin' me?!!"

I laughed so hard! It was so cute and exactly what is going through every one's mind when you think about it - most adults just refrain from making that face for fear of being thought of as inappropriate and immature...but let's face it, when you get right down to it - birth may be beautiful but there is nothing beautiful about that image - especially when you're 5!

Now comes the part where I have to explain why she can't use her new found knowledge and go tell all her new classmates how she, and possibly they, came out of their mommies bellies. I suspect some parents don't want their Kindergarteners to know that just yet. I tried to convince her to keep it between us, but she comes from a long line of loud mouths and I'm afraid it might be part of her introduction to her new classmates and her new teacher at her new school later this month. I fear it going something like this, "Hi, I'm Big "B". I went on vacation this summer, I got to swim a lot, I had my birthday party and I found out I came out of my mommy's belly through her.....!" I may send an preemptive apology letter with her box of school supplies.

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